OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
