if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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