woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
