Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
