I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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