Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
