Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
