i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize