ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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