But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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