OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Michael Bay diarrhea
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
