He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
