Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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