u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
