you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
