I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
