Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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