Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize