Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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