I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
