Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
