More tranny stories later!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
