I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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