The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
