Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
