do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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