Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
