My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
tell me about the eggs
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
