Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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