she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
