Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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