I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
