I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
