Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
