oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
