and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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