I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
