His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
