i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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