He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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