Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
