There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
