i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
