He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
