Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
