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i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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