I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
