dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
