mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
