You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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