I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
