Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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