therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he puts the penis in happiness.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
