soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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