I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
